Talking about death to a loved one you care about is not easy. But when we don’t have honest conversations about it, we have little or no idea of their wishes.
There are a number of reasons why we find talking about dying difficult. It could be fear of saying the wrong thing, or of hurting someone’s feelings or our own fear of losing someone we love.
Where do you start
Where do you start, be honest, often in difficult situations we tend to search for the ‘right’ or clever thing to say, or we deny what’s happening altogether. While this is natural – and humour has its place here too – dying is a profound process that needs honesty and understanding. Open conversations can be very liberating and soothing, both for the dying person and their loved ones.
Let your loved one know they can talk to you if they need to. You might say, “If there ever comes a time when you want to talk about something, please do tell me”. This gives them permission to talk in their own time, without expectation. Listen, don’t be afraid to cry and stay calm, don’t feel you have to talk all the time. Simply being beside someone in silence can be hugely comforting.
Take time to talk
Take time to talk about what wishes your loved one has, discuss their funeral wishes, whether they would like burial or a cremation, what type of service they would like, religious or a celebration of life, what music they would like, any special request they may want, we have put together a wishes plan, which you can print out and complete together, knowing that wishes are in place can give a loved one a relief, knowing their wishes are know and will be carried out.
If you would like a copy of our wish plan, contact us.